A brief run-down on what are considered polite table manners in Thailand.
Don’t mean to sound snobby, but we reckon many people would be put off by the sight of other restaurant diners consuming their meals in what they consider an impolite manner! However, whilst every culture in the world has its own accepted eating etiquette, this does differ widely from culture to culture and what passes for polite or uncouth table manners in one country may well be totally unacceptable in another. This is true even amongst neighbouring Western countries and after years of living in France, some of our French eating manners would seem quite shocking if invited to Aunt Dorothy’s in Chipping Norton! (Rinsing the dregs of your soup bowl out with a splash of wine is an interesting one and while this is a very rustic tradition in France, there is actually a phrase for it; faire chabrol) In turn, the habit of cutting everything into small pieces and then eating with just a fork convinces many French that many Americans ‘eat like babies’.
Would you eat this with a knife and fork or your fingers? Well, the same goes for Southeast Asia and not only do our Western table manners often appear downright vulgar to locals, but perceived politeness is not the same in Laos as it is in Vietnam, nor in Thailand as it is in Malaysia. Foreign visitors are frequently the ones eating uncouthly when invited to dine with a Burmese family or staying at a Thai homestay; not intentionally but simply because no one has explained to them and the locals are too polite to say anything. So here are some brief rundowns beginning with Thailand, though note, these are generally accepted rules and there will always be exceptions.
As in many aspects of life, Thais are very etiquette-conscious and, as food and eating form very important parts of their cultural and social life, their eating habits can be more complicated and more rigid than in most other Southeast Asian countries. Tourists would not be expected to understand, and what Thais would find very vulgar table manners are tolerated, but if you do want to eat as the locals do, then read on and bear in mind that there are good reasons behind some of these customs.
Rice dishes are eaten with a spoon (right hand) and fork (left hand), but note it is considered impolite to put the fork in your mouth – an equivalent to putting your knife in your mouth at home – and it’s only used to push food onto the spoon. (We’ll cover northeast eating habits and sticky rice in a subsequent Lao section.) Fried noodle dishes are generally eaten with chopsticks and noodle soups with chopsticks in the right hand and a soup spoon in the left. Knives would not be a feature of Thai cutlery unless it was in a Western restaurant and eating rice with chopsticks is just not done. In fact, we find it downright patronising to assume that all Asians use chopsticks and you would not be ‘blending in’ but looking ridiculous. Placing knives on a table is traditionally considered asking for trouble in case dinner time conversations get too animated (!), whilst at the end of the day, rice and Thai-style curry are far easier eaten with a spoon than a fork anyway.
North Thai khao soi soup with spoon and chopsticks At home, it would be very unusual for Thais to use tables and chairs and family meals are usually eaten sitting on the floor or a mat. (In north Thailand low rattan tables known as khantoke tables are often used.) One plate rice or noodle lunches would be eaten individually, but in the case of larger meals, each diner would be given their own plate of rice and all other dishes would be placed in the centre. These are then eaten communally, with guests taking one or two spoons of one dish and serving it onto their own plate. This would then be eaten before trying a second dish. Helping yourself to communal dishes with your own spoon is considered normal and leaning over to get to a dish is considered more polite than grabbing the dish yourself or even requesting it be passed to you. If you are a guest, then your host will often place choice pieces on your plate for you or pass you certain dishes.
You would not pile a spoonful of each dish onto your plate at the same time, nor would you tip half the curry onto your plate. Thai dishes have often complex and differing tastes and eating them one at a time keeps the distinct flavours separate. This is not meat and two veg! Furthermore, unlike at home, it would be considered bad form to finish off a certain dish. You’re not showing appreciation to the cook, but rather implying that they didn’t provide enough of that particular dish.
As for a meal make-up, there are no courses and all dishes, including soups, are served together. Nor are desserts standard, and at most you may be offered some after-dinner fruit, but there would not generally be a starter, main course and dessert unless it was an eatery specifically aimed at tourists.
Lao, or Isan, meals are generally eaten in your fingers with sticky rice Finally, a frequently seen error and one which, after some 20 years in Thailand, we find rather unpleasant is that if you are eating, say a Thai curry and rice in a restaurant, the curry is spooned onto the rice and not the reverse. Yes, Thais can be rather precious when it comes to eating, but tipping spoons of rice into a coconut curry, creating an unappetising bowl of stodge, isn’t done in the best of circles either.
A brief rundown on table manners in Thailand, then and before you start thinking you’ve got it all, we’ll have a look at similarities and differences in neighbouring cultures such as Laos, Vietnam and Myanmar.
